True Love Waits

Yesterday I learned something that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. EVERYONE struggles with sexual purity in some way, shape or form. I was one of those people who thought everyone BUT me struggles. But we all get tempted and we all fall. No, I didn't have sex. I just finally screwed my head on right and realized that even I could struggle with this. I learned from a very special person that a woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her. I basically have been telling God that "hey, I don't know if you're busy or something but this whole "love story" your writing isn't evident in my life. Let me try and start writing it myself." I wasnt having enough faith in Him to believe that He was still in control and is preparing my future husband for me right now. Hebrews 11 :1 says "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." I sure can't see how God is moving in my life but I do have faith that he is teaching me something and is preparing me for my future mate. Song of Solomon 8:4 says "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arose or awaken love until it so desires." I have been trying to "arose" love in my life right now when maybe it's just not time for it. So ladies, focus on God and not boys. It is hard. I know. You're listening to a true boy crazy girl. We've got to stand firm in our relationship with Christ and believe that even though we might not be recieving the instant gradification from guys, God will grant us with that pleasure when He knows you're ready. His timing is perfect, never forget that. Don't tease the boys by performing acts that will cause you and him to stumble into a decision you'll regret for the rest of your lives. Focus on how far you can get from the edge. Enjoy life and remember you don't need a boy to make you happy, all you need is God. He will grant you will that special person when you least expect it.

Summer of '09, You Will Be Missed.

Sophomore year begins; after a long stressful first year of high school I'm ready to jump into my second year. It's been a great summer I must say. Each summer I feel is different in it's own special way. Our First Baptist Church of Naples high school camp changed my life. We learned about how to live a pure life mentally, spiritually, sexually and in our character. Being pure is a choice I have made and I must say that after this year's camp, my life will NEVER be the same. Another trip that changed my life would have to be our 2009 Lightforce trip to Imokolee. Going there and working with the kids and serving the community in the scorching hot sun surrounded by millions of knats gave me a new respect for my father who works out in the sun all day. I also learned that it doesn't matter how old you are, where you live or where you come from, there's someone out there that is facing the same or a similar trial that you are. There's so much I learned on the Lightforce trip, my love and fire for God deffinatly grew more this summer than ever before.

Sadly I had to say goodbye to one of my best friends this summer, Ms. Jennifer Kimball. I grew so close to her in this past year, so many memories were mad. From watching Benchwarmers and eating the Americone Dream Ice Cream to staying up late on the Lightforce trip staring at each other in our sleeping bags and just talking till we passed out. I love her so much and I always will. Im so happy I got the chance to be apart of her life; I know God has a plan for our friendship. She's coming down this October and when I see that face again, tears of joy will roll down my face and a smile will stretch from cheek to cheek.

Still facing family struggles, but with every day, time is healing wounds. I also grew so much closer to my BLG teacher April Radcliffe, she never fails to make an impact on my life while spilling coffee on herself at Starbucks. She is a remarkable woman whom I am so blessed to know and look up to. April's words of wisdom touch my life in a unique and powerful way and I'm so excited for God to grow our relationship these next few years and beyond.

I've also decided to wait for God to bring the right guy into my life instead of being impatient and involving myself in worldly dating. I'm slowly learning that its better to be the best friend than the girlfriend at this age. Dating just brings drama, right now my relationship with God is of upmost importance.

Basically summer of '09 was one to remember and just like the rest it was uniquely amazing and special in it's own way. I became a stronger woman spiritually through trials and loss, grew friendships, said goodbyes, laughed till my stomach hurt, slept in till noon, went to church, made money through babysitting, and most importantly I grew in my walk with God. As the sun sets on summer of '09 it will rise to a new year of full of new suprises and changes that God will use to mold me into a woman of God.

The Lord Has Blessed Me!

Heres the deal! I am usually not a very lucky person. That all changed one morning about two weeks ago. I was straightening my hair and i had WAY FM on and it was free ticket friday. They were giving away free tickets for the Sanctus Real and Matthew West concert on February 6. You had to be the 20th caller. So I said to myself "SELF" I am not going to call in..I NEVER WIN! In my 14 years of life I basically have never won any type of raffle ticket contest or anything in that nature. That morning though I felt an urge to just pick up the phone and call in. I must of called about 10 times before i got through. Then all of a sudden it started ringing. I expected someone to call in an  say "YOU ARE CALLER NUMBER __!" But instead Jeff Taylor the host of the Way Early Show decided to yell in my ear and "WHO IS THIS!" By now you know that I was obviously the 20th caller! I was so excited! To make things even better when Jeff started talking to me I was of course brushing my teeth and made a complete mess in the sink trying to spit it out and talk! That really just made my day! So tonight's the concert..and I've got free tickets babyyy!!!!

An Actor Worth Remembering.

Heath Ledger

(April 4, 1979-January 22,2008)

One of the great actors that left us in 2008.  At age 28 he ended his life with a drug overdose. Some say it was an accident and some say it wasn't. He struggled sleeping and one night he just popped to many pills. Heath was a great man and it was hard for Hollywood to see him go. His life was so short but yet he left his mark for the world to see. The last movie he was filmed in was in my opinion his greatest movie made, "The Dark Knight". He played the crazy role of the Joker and sure did a great job. I know it seems so random to just bring him up but he has inspired me to push through my struggles and never give up. God has a plan and its not always easy to follow along with it.  Rest in peace Heath Andrew Ledger.

What's Going On?

Here's an update!

• Recently I've just been struggling with this divorce I'm forced to face on a daily basis. 
  
• I have learned that I need to stop pleasing my parents and start being true to myself and the Lord. Its hard but I'm working up to it.
  
• My BLG (bible and life group) teacher and I are now starting to move into a relationship. Its nice to have a mentor to help me with my struggles. 
  
• I am getting the iPhone for my birthday. FINALLY!! 
• I saw "The Dark Knight" and basically fell in love with that movie. R.I.P Heath Ledger :(
• School is back in and I'm ready for it to be summer. 
• I have two new books and I'm very excited to read them.
• Lightforce is starting soon and I am so excited
• Voice lessons start again..soon I hope. 
• Water Polo is going to be starting soon at GCHS and im pumped!
  

I guess thats about it. Just a little update on what's going on in my life. I also have a twitter so look me up. Its seifert227

  

There is Hope.

Today I was confronted by friends with the truth. Recently I had decided to start skipping lunch because my self-esteem was dropping and I just didn't feel  beautiful. I felt fat and ugly. I was willing to do anything to loose weight, even if it meant hurting myself. My friends explained that it was wrong and if things didn't change they would take action. I was fearful. I felt convicted by God. For it says in His word you are to honor your body.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 

I am leaning to God with this problem and praying for a change. Thanks to those friends and Becca for helping me change my ways and follow God's plan. I now know that skipping a meal isn't healthy and I should honor God with my body. 

Friends are a gift from God and a blessing to everyone.

Running From the Truth

I start to think sometimes where will God put me years from now. I think about all my friends and what will become of our friendships. Will I loose the most valuable ones or will they always be there by my side? Will my broken family ever piece back together?  With all the stress  I face with school, divorce, friendships and my extremely LOW self-esteem it's hard to sometimes want to continue on. There are days where I don't even want to look at myself in the mirror because all I see is fat and ugly. My parents, how they never want to talk to each other and my best friend who will go unmentioned that I continually try to build our friendship but it just gets harder and harder. My best friend is one of the most important things in my life right now and I never see or hear from her. It so hard because I care so much for her. I love her to pieces and I would never want to loose her. I don't really think she understands how highly I think of her and how I wish to be with her more often. With all these problems I face I sometimes just ask God if he will take me now and take me away from the stress and depression. Its always a  "NO" and I wonder why all time. 

When I look at all the beautiful things in life like a new born child, friday nights with friends, the beauty of a sunset, and love of a Savior I  then wish to stay alive one more day. Life isn't a bowl of cherries because I'm in the pits. I just wish, that once in life, I could be happy and not have a care in the world. 

I need to stop running from the truth..

Life will never be easy, friendships will never be perfect, my parents will never be together again, and what I look like is never going to change whether I like it or not.

So where do I go from here??